I just turned over to Comedy Central to watch Scrubs. It's the episode where J.D.'s dad dies.
Had to turn it off.
Friday, February 15, 2008
February 15, 2006
This was the first day of the end. My family and I didn't know it, of course, but that's exactly what it was.
Early on the morning of February 15, 2006, my Dad went to St. Mary's Medical Center in Evansville, Ind., for a cardiac catheterization. For a great number of years, my Dad had been suffering from some form of emphysema. At least that's what I thought it was, but some breathing problems nonetheless. In December 2005 he had begun to develop some discomfort in his chest that he attributed to his breathing difficulties. After consultation with his lung doctor, the thought popped up that it might possibly be a heart issue, as well. Thus, the cardiac cath.
I knew in advance that this was coming up. While I didn't call my folks everyday, I did talk to them a couple times a week. Sometimes I'd even talk to Dad more often than that. Well, I had every intention of calling him on Feb. 14 so that I could speak to him prior to the procedure. For reasons I don't know at this time, I didn't. I was working at Host Communications at the time and it could have been because I was working on something that kept me at the office later than normal and by the time I got to my apartment I just pooped out. Or it could have been something else. Whatever it was, I didn't call Dad that night.
I got up early the next day to get some work done before the office officially got going. When I got to work, I realized what I had done (or not done, actually) and I called my Mom on their cell phone hoping I could catch them at the hospital, though before he was sent back to have the procedure done. I missed him. But I talked to my Mom. And my heart broke. She wasn't mad but she mentioned that Dad was a little disappointed the night before. Before they went to bed, she mentioned that he said, "I guess Brad's not going to call tonight."
I felt like the biggest ass in the world, and the worst son. Here's a guy, who in the past few years, had become more than my Dad, he had become my best friend. And I didn't call. My Mom wasn't trying to make me feel bad. It just came up when I mentioned that I was sorry I didn't call on the 14th and she just said he had hoped that I would.
Regardless, I missed him that morning. So, I told Mom to call me once the procedure was over. That morning was awful. Awful. Waiting while a loved one has surgery, a medical procedure or test is one of the worst, most grueling things you can go through. Especially if you are 200 miles away.
Finally, Mom called me a couple hours later, said he came out of the procedure okay. They were waiting on the doctor to come talk with them.
Turned out that there was, in fact, some heart issues that were causing his discomfort. A few blockages were found and they were significant enough for the doctors to feel that a bypass surgery was necessary.
At this point, as Mom is telling me this, I'm doing my best trying to hold it together while I'm sitting at my desk. Yes, I realize the prospect of heart surgery isn't a death sentence by any means, but you have to understand that my worst fear at that point in my life was losing my Dad. He had been through so many health-related issues in his life that it was a bit difficult for me to imagine he could actually make it through another surgery. But that was what he was going to have to do.
So, this time around I got to speak to Dad. He said that he was having the surgery and that it would be on Feb. 16, the next day. I asked him if he wanted me to come in, which was a dumb question because I was going to leave anyway. The 15th was a Wednesday so I would only miss a few days of work at the least. Dad told me I didn't have to. After talking to Dad I spoke with Mom again and I asked her the same question. Which was dumb. She definitely wanted me there. I told her that I had a few things to tie up at the office and then I would be there.
I immediately went in and spoke with my boss and told him the situation and he told me to go ahead and leave, to do whatever I needed to do. That made me feel a lot better. While I'm trying to put things in order and get some help from coworkers, a couple friends I had made there are work were continually telling me to just leave. Don't worry about all of that stuff, to just leave.
Finally, I got everything in order a little after lunch and headed to my apartment to pack. While there, I called my sister who lives in Richmond. I told her that I was almost packed and that I could pick her up soon. Well, she said she wasn't going. I won't get into that long story, but she said that she needed to stay with her family. Needless to say, I was very upset at this. And unfortunately she ended up regretting that decision (but at the time, how can you know?).
So, I left and went home. I don't remember exactly when I got away, but it was dark by the time I got to the hospital. Since he was already there because of the cardiac cath, they decided to just go ahead and admit Dad so he didn't have to worry about going home and then coming back the next morning. The surgery was scheduled for early on Feb. 16th. And by the time I walked in the hospital, they already had him in the Cardiac ICU, since that was where he would be immediately following the surgery. Mom was in the waiting room, along with one other person sitting on the opposite side.
We exchanged hugs and sat down to chat while we waited to go back to see Dad. The Cats were playing Georgia that night, and I remember texting my buddy Blake for scores. The game was still going on when we went back to see Dad and he was watching it. And he was in surprisingly good spirits. Oh yeah, he was also fussing at the Cats. They weren't playing particularly well, but they did end up winning.
Anyway, we spent some time with Dad after the game and then he told us to go home, like he always did. He hated to think we were just sitting around when we could be doing other things or resting. Eventually we left headed home.
On the way out, I called Blake who proceeded to tell me about a shitstorm that hit at work. I always missed that kind of stuff...
When I got to the house, I was introduced to Sammy, my Dad's golden retriever. At this point he was only a few weeks old, maybe a little over a month. But he was rowdy! And I loved him right away. He was so cute. Dad had set up this make-shift pen in the kitchen. He used the kitchen since it had ceramic tile. As I mentioned in a previous entry, Dad had bought him a ton of stuff. The bad part was that he wasn't house-broken yet. So, Mom cleaned that up, I refilled his water and food bowls and we played a little. Dad was supposed to have given him some medicine that day, which obviously he wasn't able to do, so I did that as well. It was some kind of liquid gunk in a feeder syringe. Sammy did not like it.
After talking a little bit Mom and I decided to call it a night since we were exhausted. Sammy whined a little, I think because he was being left alone and maybe because I was already missing Dad.
That was a long day, but the next was going to be longer.
Early on the morning of February 15, 2006, my Dad went to St. Mary's Medical Center in Evansville, Ind., for a cardiac catheterization. For a great number of years, my Dad had been suffering from some form of emphysema. At least that's what I thought it was, but some breathing problems nonetheless. In December 2005 he had begun to develop some discomfort in his chest that he attributed to his breathing difficulties. After consultation with his lung doctor, the thought popped up that it might possibly be a heart issue, as well. Thus, the cardiac cath.
I knew in advance that this was coming up. While I didn't call my folks everyday, I did talk to them a couple times a week. Sometimes I'd even talk to Dad more often than that. Well, I had every intention of calling him on Feb. 14 so that I could speak to him prior to the procedure. For reasons I don't know at this time, I didn't. I was working at Host Communications at the time and it could have been because I was working on something that kept me at the office later than normal and by the time I got to my apartment I just pooped out. Or it could have been something else. Whatever it was, I didn't call Dad that night.
I got up early the next day to get some work done before the office officially got going. When I got to work, I realized what I had done (or not done, actually) and I called my Mom on their cell phone hoping I could catch them at the hospital, though before he was sent back to have the procedure done. I missed him. But I talked to my Mom. And my heart broke. She wasn't mad but she mentioned that Dad was a little disappointed the night before. Before they went to bed, she mentioned that he said, "I guess Brad's not going to call tonight."
I felt like the biggest ass in the world, and the worst son. Here's a guy, who in the past few years, had become more than my Dad, he had become my best friend. And I didn't call. My Mom wasn't trying to make me feel bad. It just came up when I mentioned that I was sorry I didn't call on the 14th and she just said he had hoped that I would.
Regardless, I missed him that morning. So, I told Mom to call me once the procedure was over. That morning was awful. Awful. Waiting while a loved one has surgery, a medical procedure or test is one of the worst, most grueling things you can go through. Especially if you are 200 miles away.
Finally, Mom called me a couple hours later, said he came out of the procedure okay. They were waiting on the doctor to come talk with them.
Turned out that there was, in fact, some heart issues that were causing his discomfort. A few blockages were found and they were significant enough for the doctors to feel that a bypass surgery was necessary.
At this point, as Mom is telling me this, I'm doing my best trying to hold it together while I'm sitting at my desk. Yes, I realize the prospect of heart surgery isn't a death sentence by any means, but you have to understand that my worst fear at that point in my life was losing my Dad. He had been through so many health-related issues in his life that it was a bit difficult for me to imagine he could actually make it through another surgery. But that was what he was going to have to do.
So, this time around I got to speak to Dad. He said that he was having the surgery and that it would be on Feb. 16, the next day. I asked him if he wanted me to come in, which was a dumb question because I was going to leave anyway. The 15th was a Wednesday so I would only miss a few days of work at the least. Dad told me I didn't have to. After talking to Dad I spoke with Mom again and I asked her the same question. Which was dumb. She definitely wanted me there. I told her that I had a few things to tie up at the office and then I would be there.
I immediately went in and spoke with my boss and told him the situation and he told me to go ahead and leave, to do whatever I needed to do. That made me feel a lot better. While I'm trying to put things in order and get some help from coworkers, a couple friends I had made there are work were continually telling me to just leave. Don't worry about all of that stuff, to just leave.
Finally, I got everything in order a little after lunch and headed to my apartment to pack. While there, I called my sister who lives in Richmond. I told her that I was almost packed and that I could pick her up soon. Well, she said she wasn't going. I won't get into that long story, but she said that she needed to stay with her family. Needless to say, I was very upset at this. And unfortunately she ended up regretting that decision (but at the time, how can you know?).
So, I left and went home. I don't remember exactly when I got away, but it was dark by the time I got to the hospital. Since he was already there because of the cardiac cath, they decided to just go ahead and admit Dad so he didn't have to worry about going home and then coming back the next morning. The surgery was scheduled for early on Feb. 16th. And by the time I walked in the hospital, they already had him in the Cardiac ICU, since that was where he would be immediately following the surgery. Mom was in the waiting room, along with one other person sitting on the opposite side.
We exchanged hugs and sat down to chat while we waited to go back to see Dad. The Cats were playing Georgia that night, and I remember texting my buddy Blake for scores. The game was still going on when we went back to see Dad and he was watching it. And he was in surprisingly good spirits. Oh yeah, he was also fussing at the Cats. They weren't playing particularly well, but they did end up winning.
Anyway, we spent some time with Dad after the game and then he told us to go home, like he always did. He hated to think we were just sitting around when we could be doing other things or resting. Eventually we left headed home.
On the way out, I called Blake who proceeded to tell me about a shitstorm that hit at work. I always missed that kind of stuff...
When I got to the house, I was introduced to Sammy, my Dad's golden retriever. At this point he was only a few weeks old, maybe a little over a month. But he was rowdy! And I loved him right away. He was so cute. Dad had set up this make-shift pen in the kitchen. He used the kitchen since it had ceramic tile. As I mentioned in a previous entry, Dad had bought him a ton of stuff. The bad part was that he wasn't house-broken yet. So, Mom cleaned that up, I refilled his water and food bowls and we played a little. Dad was supposed to have given him some medicine that day, which obviously he wasn't able to do, so I did that as well. It was some kind of liquid gunk in a feeder syringe. Sammy did not like it.
After talking a little bit Mom and I decided to call it a night since we were exhausted. Sammy whined a little, I think because he was being left alone and maybe because I was already missing Dad.
That was a long day, but the next was going to be longer.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Doughnuts (or Donuts for those who conserve letters)
So, today I was on my way to Channel 27 (WKYT) with my boss. She was scheduled to be on the noon show to promote Teachers Who Made a Difference program. We passed a bakery on Winchester Road. She asked me if I had ever been there. I haven't but I've heard people say that the donuts are really good.
And that simple question reminded me of my Dad.
When I was a kid, my Dad often went to the local bakery to get donuts on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
There's nothing quite like a fresh donut first thing in the morning. I've always been partial to donut holes and chocolate milk.
My Dad liked long johns with chocolate icing. He also liked creme horns.
But regardless, Dad would buy donuts, and often would do it on weekday mornings, too, when he would come visit.
I might have a donut today in memory of my Dad...
And that simple question reminded me of my Dad.
When I was a kid, my Dad often went to the local bakery to get donuts on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
There's nothing quite like a fresh donut first thing in the morning. I've always been partial to donut holes and chocolate milk.
My Dad liked long johns with chocolate icing. He also liked creme horns.
But regardless, Dad would buy donuts, and often would do it on weekday mornings, too, when he would come visit.
I might have a donut today in memory of my Dad...
The Strike is Over
Well, the Writer's Guild of America has signed a new contract with the producers and are back to work. I know a lot of TV addicts are very happy about this. As a moviegoer, I am happy that productions can start back up (ones that weren't canceled anyway... please put the "Justice League" movie back in the schedule!). But more importantly, all the non-writers who were affected by the strike can get work again.
What else does this mean? The Oscars live on!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who cares.
I'll still read about it in the paper.
But let me add this note: I have seen four of the five movies nominated for best picture, "Atonement" being the lone missed film. Without a doubt, "There Will Be Blood" should be the film of the year. I'm afraid "No Country For Old Men" will win, which would disappoint me highly. I'd almost venture to say that Daniel Day-Lewis should win the lead actor honor, but I can't because I haven't seen Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises." I like Viggo's work, especially in "History of Violence," so I'm not comfortable committing to Day-Lewis, who was phenomenal. And don't count out Johnny Depp.
What else does this mean? The Oscars live on!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who cares.
I'll still read about it in the paper.
But let me add this note: I have seen four of the five movies nominated for best picture, "Atonement" being the lone missed film. Without a doubt, "There Will Be Blood" should be the film of the year. I'm afraid "No Country For Old Men" will win, which would disappoint me highly. I'd almost venture to say that Daniel Day-Lewis should win the lead actor honor, but I can't because I haven't seen Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises." I like Viggo's work, especially in "History of Violence," so I'm not comfortable committing to Day-Lewis, who was phenomenal. And don't count out Johnny Depp.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Hittin' the Rails
Back in January 2006, my Dad and I had been discussing taking a trip together later in the year. He had always wanted to take a trip by train. I had wanted to return to Boston (I had visited the city a couple times a few years prior when I was considering graduate school there). So, Dad and I decided to take a train trip to Boston. I decided the best time for me to go would be in late April, so I started mapping out a route on Amtrak that would take us to Washington, D.C., and then up the coast to Boston. It was inexpensive and would have been a great time for us to bond even more.
I can't tell you how excited I was about this trip.
But, unfortunately, we never got to go...
I can't tell you how excited I was about this trip.
But, unfortunately, we never got to go...
Sammy and Dad
Not long before this date in 2006, my Dad finally did what he had been threatening to do. He bought a dog.
For the longest time, he had wanted to get a "yellow dog." He wanted a companion, someone he could take with him on drives around town, someone he could play with at the house while my Mom worked during the day.
Mom didn't really want one.
Well, he called me one day in early 2006 and said that he'd finally done it. He saw an ad in the local paper for a pure bred golden retriever. He went down and got him. He was in love instantly. And it didn't really take my Mom long to follow suit.
When Dad and I would talk he would tell me about all the things little Sammy had done that day. Dad had taken him to a vet right down the road from their house, gotten him all the requisite shots and checkups, and had purchased him a large number of toys. It was as if Sammy was another child.
But it was great. In late 2005 and early 2006, Dad had been struggling with some issues he had been dealing with for a number of years, and I was happy to know that he had a new friend who could help him take his mind off the negative.
And Mom thought Sammy was pretty cute, too.
A great addition to the Duncan family. I couldn't wait to see him.
For the longest time, he had wanted to get a "yellow dog." He wanted a companion, someone he could take with him on drives around town, someone he could play with at the house while my Mom worked during the day.
Mom didn't really want one.
Well, he called me one day in early 2006 and said that he'd finally done it. He saw an ad in the local paper for a pure bred golden retriever. He went down and got him. He was in love instantly. And it didn't really take my Mom long to follow suit.
When Dad and I would talk he would tell me about all the things little Sammy had done that day. Dad had taken him to a vet right down the road from their house, gotten him all the requisite shots and checkups, and had purchased him a large number of toys. It was as if Sammy was another child.
But it was great. In late 2005 and early 2006, Dad had been struggling with some issues he had been dealing with for a number of years, and I was happy to know that he had a new friend who could help him take his mind off the negative.
And Mom thought Sammy was pretty cute, too.
A great addition to the Duncan family. I couldn't wait to see him.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
I Hate Wal-Mart
That kind of says a lot, huh?
And why do I hate Wal-Mart?
Well, it all started when I watched the documentary, "Wal-Mart: the High Cost of Low Price." That film paints the company as a very community and employee unfriendly company.
So, I vowed not to shop there any more.
But that didn't last long. They lure you with their everyday low prices. And when you're there you have to watch out for falling prices because they reduce those everyday prices even more all the time. I mean, in this economy, who doesn't want to shop inexpensively?
And for a DVD/movie nut like myself, I can't often pass up the huge bin of $5 DVDs.
What's more, how could you really say anything bad about a company that embraced a young Natalie Portman after she had a baby there after her boyfriend left her in the parking lot of an Oklahoma store? (What? Haven't any of you seen Where the Heart Is?)
Watch the doc I mentioned above and you see why you can dislike Wal-Mart despite being nice to Natalie and selling cheap DVDs.
However, that's not the reason I have sworn off Wal-Mart forever. In the past three weeks, I have been to a Wal-Mart on two occasions and they have been two different Wal-Marts here in Lexington.
I went to the one out at Nicholasville and Man 'O War (I don't live close to this one but I was out by the mall to go to the theatre and wanted some snacks to sneak into the movie. Don't judge me, you know movie concessions are outrageous!). I only had a few items and was tempted to use the lane where you can check out yourself but they were all packed. All the normal lanes were packed but I saw the light on at Lane 1, which is one of those quickie, 10-items or less lanes. I walked around and even though the light was on, I saw nobody there. I decided to forgive that as maybe someone just forgot to turn the light off. So I stepped in the next 10-items line behind about three others. A couple moments later I saw a young man in one of those nice blue Wal-Mart vests step up to Lane 1. AWESOME!!!!!! It wasn't closed after all. So I quickly stepped over before anyone else could.
I set my four items on the counter and waited to make my payment. The young man, let's call him Fred (which was not the name on his tag), scanned my items. He didn't address me in any way. When he finished, he simply said, "That's $xx.xx." (I used the "x" because I don't remember the total.) I swiped my debit card. While I awaited the approval, Fred decided to carry on a conversation, and loudly I might add, with the guy who was handing out shopping carts. When my purchase was approved, Fred handed me my receipt and started scanning the items of the next customer. He never addressed me then, either. He was a kid, so I let it go.
A number of days later, I visited the Wal-Mart at Richmond Road and Man 'O War (this one is closer to where I live) to pick up a few items. This store does not have the "do-it-yourself" checkout, so I didn't have that option, but the line at the 10-items lane was very low, so I stepped up. "Cathy" was working the register while "Kathy" was helping bag. I wondered why there were two people at an express lane register and so I looked at their name tags to see if either was a trainee. The tags gave no evidence of that so I just figured they had too many working that day and that was the only thing to do. When I walked up, the two were carrying on a conversation. I placed my items on the counter, again just a few. The process was the same as before. Neither of them spoke to me, or even acknowledged that I was there. This time Cathy didn't even give me my total. So, I was a little upset. Since I was paying with my debit again, I decided for once to answer the question that greets you on the card-swiper machine. In the past it has said, "Was your cashier friendly today?" or something like that. I never answered it before because I would just automatically swipe my card and it would just advance to the "PIN-entering" screen. But this time, I was going to answer. And, dammit, there was a different question. This time it asked, "Was the store clean?" (or something like that). While I didn't notice it being dirty, I answered no. Cathy approved my purchase and handed me the receipt. While doing so, she never turned from Kathy and never stopped her conversation. If I had stolen something neither of those Chatty C(K)athies would have been able to identify me to the cops because neither of them saw me. For all they know, Prince could have come in, sang "Let's Go Crazy," played a guitar solo, finished with "Purple Rain," and left.
It was then that I decided to forever stay out of Wal-Mart. Now i'd rather pay an extra couple of dollars and go to Meijer or Target.
I hate Wal-Mart...
p.s. And how ridiculous is it that a store will not sell CDs that have explicit lyrics, but will sell R-rated movies? WTF?
And why do I hate Wal-Mart?
Well, it all started when I watched the documentary, "Wal-Mart: the High Cost of Low Price." That film paints the company as a very community and employee unfriendly company.
So, I vowed not to shop there any more.
But that didn't last long. They lure you with their everyday low prices. And when you're there you have to watch out for falling prices because they reduce those everyday prices even more all the time. I mean, in this economy, who doesn't want to shop inexpensively?
And for a DVD/movie nut like myself, I can't often pass up the huge bin of $5 DVDs.
What's more, how could you really say anything bad about a company that embraced a young Natalie Portman after she had a baby there after her boyfriend left her in the parking lot of an Oklahoma store? (What? Haven't any of you seen Where the Heart Is?)
Watch the doc I mentioned above and you see why you can dislike Wal-Mart despite being nice to Natalie and selling cheap DVDs.
However, that's not the reason I have sworn off Wal-Mart forever. In the past three weeks, I have been to a Wal-Mart on two occasions and they have been two different Wal-Marts here in Lexington.
I went to the one out at Nicholasville and Man 'O War (I don't live close to this one but I was out by the mall to go to the theatre and wanted some snacks to sneak into the movie. Don't judge me, you know movie concessions are outrageous!). I only had a few items and was tempted to use the lane where you can check out yourself but they were all packed. All the normal lanes were packed but I saw the light on at Lane 1, which is one of those quickie, 10-items or less lanes. I walked around and even though the light was on, I saw nobody there. I decided to forgive that as maybe someone just forgot to turn the light off. So I stepped in the next 10-items line behind about three others. A couple moments later I saw a young man in one of those nice blue Wal-Mart vests step up to Lane 1. AWESOME!!!!!! It wasn't closed after all. So I quickly stepped over before anyone else could.
I set my four items on the counter and waited to make my payment. The young man, let's call him Fred (which was not the name on his tag), scanned my items. He didn't address me in any way. When he finished, he simply said, "That's $xx.xx." (I used the "x" because I don't remember the total.) I swiped my debit card. While I awaited the approval, Fred decided to carry on a conversation, and loudly I might add, with the guy who was handing out shopping carts. When my purchase was approved, Fred handed me my receipt and started scanning the items of the next customer. He never addressed me then, either. He was a kid, so I let it go.
A number of days later, I visited the Wal-Mart at Richmond Road and Man 'O War (this one is closer to where I live) to pick up a few items. This store does not have the "do-it-yourself" checkout, so I didn't have that option, but the line at the 10-items lane was very low, so I stepped up. "Cathy" was working the register while "Kathy" was helping bag. I wondered why there were two people at an express lane register and so I looked at their name tags to see if either was a trainee. The tags gave no evidence of that so I just figured they had too many working that day and that was the only thing to do. When I walked up, the two were carrying on a conversation. I placed my items on the counter, again just a few. The process was the same as before. Neither of them spoke to me, or even acknowledged that I was there. This time Cathy didn't even give me my total. So, I was a little upset. Since I was paying with my debit again, I decided for once to answer the question that greets you on the card-swiper machine. In the past it has said, "Was your cashier friendly today?" or something like that. I never answered it before because I would just automatically swipe my card and it would just advance to the "PIN-entering" screen. But this time, I was going to answer. And, dammit, there was a different question. This time it asked, "Was the store clean?" (or something like that). While I didn't notice it being dirty, I answered no. Cathy approved my purchase and handed me the receipt. While doing so, she never turned from Kathy and never stopped her conversation. If I had stolen something neither of those Chatty C(K)athies would have been able to identify me to the cops because neither of them saw me. For all they know, Prince could have come in, sang "Let's Go Crazy," played a guitar solo, finished with "Purple Rain," and left.
It was then that I decided to forever stay out of Wal-Mart. Now i'd rather pay an extra couple of dollars and go to Meijer or Target.
I hate Wal-Mart...
p.s. And how ridiculous is it that a store will not sell CDs that have explicit lyrics, but will sell R-rated movies? WTF?
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